Iceland Church

Iceland Church

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Through the eyes of Jesus.


A topic has been heavy on my heart….


I have two very close guy friends who have been there regardless of circumstances since I was a teen. They deserve a shout out…so Nate Beck and Tyler Ross…thank you for being the men you are. So why are they any different from all the rest? Regardless of my mess ups, their mess ups, what life threw at us all and the distances between…these guys have always looked at me the same. Through the eyes of Jesus. They do not judge me…and I know I am loved even when we are far apart. Its not a love of dating relationships…not even really a brother/ sister love. Its loving the way Christ loves and never thinking twice about it. This has inspired this blog…

Boys to Men.
A challenge needs to be made. If you claim to be a Christian man…prove it. We are influenced by this world…and that is an often excuse. The world pollutes…what do you do to clean up that mess when it covers you? I have been looked in many ways…as every girl has. In some cases I could put a fat suit on and I think someone would still look at me lustfully! Some look at me as a sister figure, a tough woman, a sexy woman, words used…beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hott, and the opposite….
 let me tell you all something fellows….There is nothing more attractive than the man who looks at you with your true identity in mind. Daughter of Christ, cherished, gifted, loved by a King, worth a death on a cross. I’m not just another possible girlfriend, future wife, whatever you would see me as….I am a threat to evil, I battle, worship, and love with all of my heart when called too. Do you look at me as a woman of God, a daughter? Or as something else?
I challenge men and women…look at each other as through the eyes of Jesus and as children of God, His creation. When someone has wronged you realize….it is not necessarily their full doing, they may have let evil take a small foothold, but do not let yourself fall into a stage of bitterness, anger, hate. That’s what evil wants….do you not think evil smiles when we look at another and call them ugly, sexy, whatever other than they should be called?
Ladies, there comes a point when we choose who to hang around, date, marry. Be wise…your relationship with God must be firm first…there is a love greater than the love you will ever have with your husband….and your husband should be reflecting Christ with his actions, eyes, love…being led by the Holy Spirit, and seeking his own relationship with God so much so that it ultimately means more than his relationship with you. We are Gods and we must remember that. Relying heavily on the other person will not always be enough…when the hard times come we need to be able to fight together but separately as well. 
Men,
If you have torn the heart of one of Gods daughters…you owe it to her and yourself to make it right….even if all you can do is lay it on the table and ask for forgiveness regardless of fault. When people are hurt they are hurt. Sometimes it means more to know that we are cared for still even if it is not a situation where there will ever be a relationship or a friendship ever again. And men, when you come to the alter; you need to be ready to present your gift. Do everything to make sure the gift is acceptable. (Matthew 5:22-24)
When I went on my first official date my father sat on the porch shining his shotgun. (yes…he is one of those daddies). Every time I came home in tears over a boy…he got that crazy look in his eyes and occasionally again shined the gun. He is the type of man who watches the movie Taken and gets just so fired up ready to do battle for his daughter. I honestly believe it’s the same was with our Heavenly Father.  Ever had to confront an angry disappointed father young gents? Probably a little worse than just confronting the girl in the situation and trying to make that right first. Well think of it this way…not only does the Heavenly Father know exactly how you look at his daughter, think of her, what you say about her, he expects you to make it right with not only her….but Him. Be wise about this…leaving a pile of hearts behind on your path while trying to get closer to Him…will not win you any points (hypothetically speaking).

We know all this…. nothing I have said is new news. But it is important news.
Men you have a responsibility to live as though Christ lives through you…you will be the protector of you family, the leader not only in the home but in other situations as well. You represent so much and evil would love for you to feed it with lies of this world. Let your actions go...and you bring tears to the Father’s eyes. “How Deep the Fathers Love for us...How vast beyond all measure…that HE would give His Only Son…to make a wrench His Treasure”.  Regardless of her actions, do not go there…to that place where she becomes anything but what she should be…her problems are her own…not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to love unconditionally…even if it is not in a relationship manner. Have a heart that breaks for others, loves unconditionally, has the Grace of Jesus.  See through His eyes…

I have said it before and Ill say it again…ladies please read this carefully.
The man I marry will join me in ministry…and I will join him in ministry. We will do more good together than if we were separate…this is how I will know.  He will look at me with eyes and with a heart that reflects Jesus…. nothing is more attractive than a man who knows his place in the kingdom, worships like its just him and God in the room, has a soul that bleeds for others, and longs to do battle. And Ill know in Gods time…not my own.  If it seems like a good fit…maybe it is…but let God really have the final say…I’m not married yet…and I don’t have half the response about all this I should…I’m still learning, discovering, and giving my heart and all its broken pieces to God to form it to His plans and will. There’s a point when I had to learn not to let bitterness take over, still love when everyone is against me, and realize…when we are on the verse of something good and trials hit us…to keep going and not let discouragement or evils lies sink in. If you remember nothing else remember Love like Jesus would have loved.

Through the eyes of Jesus.


A topic has been heavy on my heart….


I have two very close guy friends who have been there regardless of circumstances since I was a teen. They deserve a shout out…so Nate Beck and Tyler Ross…thank you for being the men you are. So why are they any different from all the rest? Regardless of my mess ups, their mess ups, what life threw at us all and the distances between…these guys have always looked at me the same. Through the eyes of Jesus. They do not judge me…and I know I am loved even when we are far apart. Its not a love of dating relationships…not even really a brother/ sister love. Its loving the way Christ loves and never thinking twice about it. This has inspired this blog…

Boys to Men.
A challenge needs to be made. If you claim to be a Christian man…prove it. We are influenced by this world…and that is an often excuse. The world pollutes…what do you do to clean up that mess when it covers you? I have been looked in many ways…as every girl has. In some cases I could put a fat suit on and I think someone would still look at me lustfully! Some look at me as a sister figure, a tough woman, a sexy woman, words used…beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hott, and the opposite….
 let me tell you all something fellows….There is nothing more attractive than the man who looks at you with your true identity in mind. Daughter of Christ, cherished, gifted, loved by a King, worth a death on a cross. I’m not just another possible girlfriend, future wife, whatever you would see me as….I am a threat to evil, I battle, worship, and love with all of my heart when called too. Do you look at me as a woman of God, a daughter? Or as something else?
I challenge men and women…look at each other as through the eyes of Jesus and as children of God, His creation. When someone has wronged you realize….it is not necessarily their full doing, they may have let evil take a small foothold, but do not let yourself fall into a stage of bitterness, anger, hate. That’s what evil wants….do you not think evil smiles when we look at another and call them ugly, sexy, whatever other than they should be called?
Ladies, there comes a point when we choose who to hang around, date, marry. Be wise…your relationship with God must be firm first…there is a love greater than the love you will ever have with your husband….and your husband should be reflecting Christ with his actions, eyes, love…being led by the Holy Spirit, and seeking his own relationship with God so much so that it ultimately means more than his relationship with you. We are Gods and we must remember that. Relying heavily on the other person will not always be enough…when the hard times come we need to be able to fight together but separately as well. 
Men,
If you have torn the heart of one of Gods daughters…you owe it to her and yourself to make it right….even if all you can do is lay it on the table and ask for forgiveness regardless of fault. When people are hurt they are hurt. Sometimes it means more to know that we are cared for still even if it is not a situation where there will ever be a relationship or a friendship ever again. And men, when you come to the alter; you need to be ready to present your gift. Do everything to make sure the gift is acceptable. (Matthew 5:22-24)
When I went on my first official date my father sat on the porch shining his shotgun. (yes…he is one of those daddies). Every time I came home in tears over a boy…he got that crazy look in his eyes and occasionally again shined the gun. He is the type of man who watches the movie Taken and gets just so fired up ready to do battle for his daughter. I honestly believe it’s the same was with our Heavenly Father.  Ever had to confront an angry disappointed father young gents? Probably a little worse than just confronting the girl in the situation and trying to make that right first. Well think of it this way…not only does the Heavenly Father know exactly how you look at his daughter, think of her, what you say about her, he expects you to make it right with not only her….but Him. Be wise about this…leaving a pile of hearts behind on your path while trying to get closer to Him…will not win you any points (hypothetically speaking).

We know all this…. nothing I have said is new news. But it is important news.
Men you have a responsibility to live as though Christ lives through you…you will be the protector of you family, the leader not only in the home but in other situations as well. You represent so much and evil would love for you to feed it with lies of this world. Let your actions go...and you bring tears to the Father’s eyes. “How Deep the Fathers Love for us...How vast beyond all measure…that HE would give His Only Son…to make a wrench His Treasure”.  Regardless of her actions, do not go there…to that place where she becomes anything but what she should be…her problems are her own…not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to love unconditionally…even if it is not in a relationship manner. Have a heart that breaks for others, loves unconditionally, has the Grace of Jesus.  See through His eyes…

I have said it before and Ill say it again…ladies please read this carefully.
The man I marry will join me in ministry…and I will join him in ministry. We will do more good together than if we were separate…this is how I will know.  He will look at me with eyes and with a heart that reflects Jesus…. nothing is more attractive than a man who knows his place in the kingdom, worships like its just him and God in the room, has a soul that bleeds for others, and longs to do battle. And Ill know in Gods time…not my own.  If it seems like a good fit…maybe it is…but let God really have the final say…I’m not married yet…and I don’t have half the response about all this I should…I’m still learning, discovering, and giving my heart and all its broken pieces to God to form it to His plans and will. There’s a point when I had to learn not to let bitterness take over, still love when everyone is against me, and realize…when we are on the verse of something good and trials hit us…to keep going and not let discouragement or evils lies sink in. If you remember nothing else remember Love like Jesus would have loved.

Fall Break Lessons from Penntucky






So Fall break…if I didn’t blog about the amusement that is my family, friends, and Penntucky….well…that would just be unfortunate. So what did I learn?

First off I learned the lengths my mother will for a good deal.

During the end of summer/after the back to school sale at JCPenny’s my mother digging through the sales rack discovered a pair of shorts for $1.55. When the clerk rang up her order the shorts tallied to a total of $2.77. Now…I would look at this and be like whatever…but no….my mother asks her to check again and ultimately walk back to the randomly thrown sales clothes to find another pair of shorts to prove they are actually $1.55. In the end the lady didn’t check, but just totaled them as such and move on in life…did I mention my mother also got a 15% discount for using her JCP charge card? Yes…yes she did get a whole 15% off of her $1.55 pair of shorts.

So what does this teach us….next time you pay that $13.99 for a pair of JCP womens shorts…please remember….some lady you read about in a blog paid $1.55 for those exact same shorts…also…think about this. What you pay on sale…still makes profit for these stores. And they are willing to put them on sale for about $2. $2 probably does not make them profit…but still…think about it. The value of objects…

During this shopping excursion 3 ladies asked me for store directions…they thought I worked there. A sales rep who saw this almost fell over laughing after the 2nd lady asked me for help. Generally (especially in MN) I seem slightly bold and frightening…but not in PA…oh no…I look to be the friendliest of all the sales reps and I’m not even one of them.

A note about my father. One night he decided he would show me pictures of his life. They basically consisted of his time in the Marines, hunting, and his little girl. Sure…now he is a more cuddle bear….but it is still important to note…trained to battle, likes to hunt, and Loves his little girl. ;)

In my family-an extended family of hundreds in my area- I would like to note this one important rule. It is absolutely imperative that even if you do not recognize the person or your relation to that person that you say hello and inquire about life. If you do not you risk offending even the most gentle of relatives…. which may offend other relatives and end you up in a pickle. Yes…I said pickle….welcome to Penntucky…we “red up our rooms” use a “sweeper” not a vacuum…and wear our Steelers gear to church on Sunday (which is actually totally appropriate in many churches of the area). Which leads to my next thoughts…

This Sunday I was part of the worship band at a church in Youngstown Ohio. Crossroads Community Church. The theme was linked to football and the staff and congregation wore their jerseys to the service. Now picture this…I thought it was slightly hysterical considering I grew up going to a school where maybe you had one kid brave enough to wear a browns Jersey. The worship team consisted of 4-5 different Jerseys…three being Steelers. right next to a guy wearing a Browns Jersey. If this were PA….I feel something would have been thrown. ☺ All in good taste…..(I hope).

To the guys in the band…I experienced a lot of “guy” moments this weekend. No worries...I’ve been the one girl in a lot of “all guy” bands…and really if you are in a band ...you have to be close enough to experience those flatulent moments human beings have…☺ Even during group prayer, and practice, and before Sunday service prayer…etc. I'm only sad I wasn't able to return the favor :)
But on a serious note…thanks to the fellows of the worship team…you were so much fun to worship with. Every one of you has a heart of gold…the fact that I was able to just show up and feel so welcomed…that’s just awesome. What you are doing in the kingdom is showing on your faces as Jesus shines through.
So on to a bigger subject. You know those moments when you know okay God wanted me here…just to hear this. Well that was my morning. This morning’s sermon just chucked out truth everywhere…and it covered a lot of topics. But really the whole morning reaffirmed one simple thing….its okay…suffering happens and will happen when your work is plowing through the darkness. If you live your life to battle…you battle. So its not a wonder that when things do come together for Gods Glory…troubles come. But God will be pleased with you (check out Romans 5:2-4& Romans 8:16-18 and 2 Cor. 1:5-7 & 1 Peter 4:12).
So I’m thinking…I have two months left…wow. I fly back to PA for Christmas…and technically all my semester long classes are done! I have 6 weeks of block and then internship. Gods working it out…I’m so excited for the possibilities…and really a close friend of mine Lindsay Beck said it exactly the way I see it right now….I get to go to work and worship…ever day. How much better does it get? My focus, my passion, my love, my job and life centered on worshiping and bringing others to worship. I want to give…every emotion I feel inside during worship to others and let them feel it too….that immeasurable love…love that brings you to your knees and wraps you in His arms. In order to battle the darkness and to be lit with the Holy Spirit in this world…we have to come before the cross…lay it down… humble…weep…and then stand with arms outstretched letting Him pour into us and give back the Glory for the work that can be done through us. He is waiting at the door…will you let Him in.?

Friday, October 1, 2010

"Understand that the sheepdog is a funny critter..."

We should all think seriously about this writing. I truly feel that I come from a family of sheepdogs. On my fathers side of the family all of his brothers served and I have relatives still serving for this country. My mother is a sheep. She is delicate, but in a beautiful way, but mess with her little lamb and she becomes a sheepdog. ☺ We nicknamed my father the Grizzly Bear for a reason. The man shines his rifle every time a boy makes his daughter cry. And consequently Little Grizz has become my family nickname. I have been raised a sheepdog… my service is for God, I am guarding the Church, the People. An example:
I have this inner urge to run to Uganda and serve in a ministry taking back the children stolen away by the Rebel Army, give them comfort, protection, bring them back to being children. They are Gods creation, and they belong to Him, my inner sheepdog wants to tear apart objects just thinking about it. As a side note, the Machine Gun Preacher ministry of Angels in Africa is a ministry I pray for daily. We can argue that the use of guns is totally inappropriate...but if it were your child, abducted, brainwashed, tortured...and someone told you they could bring them back...would you even question? That's a tough question...but I know my answer to that question. There is a battle between good and evil that has crossed from the spiritual to also the physical plane...and in this time...that is all too much a reality.
Another mentioned quality of the sheepdog is the ability to upset the sheep but without care because it is for their own good. I bark an awful lot…and sometimes its some ugly truth, like telling a young freshman boy that his foot-e-PJ’s are totally inappropriate and I’ve made people cry for small things. But in the end they thought twice…even if they still decided to wear those foot-e-PJS in the end. Ya never know when the sheepdog is right down the hallway and may pass you by. Being a college RA brings out the sheepdog in anyone….it actually forces most times ☺
I see this life as a battle. Part of me wants to rest, have total peace, and there is a time for that. But more of me loves the battle. When it takes 3 days of sleep from me all for one person to be saved, rescued from evils grasp, forgiven and redeemed, my sleep means nothing. What joy it is to serve wherever it is at. Those moments when we can give up everything for a time for another person for no other reason than because of Gods love in us working through us. I want to cry with others, break for them, with them. I want to battle. And I do. Do you?

Read this twice through…it is worth the time spent to digest it…and to really think about what is being said…just take it a layer at a time.


http://www.mwkworks.com/onsheepwolvesandsheepdogs.html

On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs - Dave Grossman
By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, author of "On Killing."

Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:

"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful.? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa."

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population. There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, "Let's roll," which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church.? They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs.? Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to massacre you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, "I will never be caught without my gun in church." I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a cop he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down fourteen people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy's body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, "Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?"

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for "heads to roll" if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids' school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them.

Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, "Do you have and idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?"

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: you didn't bring your gun, you didn't train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by your fear helplessness and horror at your moment of truth.

Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation: "...denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn't so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling."

Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level.

And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes. If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be "on" 24/7, for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself...

"Baa."

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

Encouragement...

Philippians 2
Imitating Christ's Humility
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Senior year has not been what I expected. In fact its been exactly opposite than I thought it would be.
This is a time I am preparing to leave. By senior year in high school we know who will be friends past graduation day. This time….not only will I be gone before graduation, but if I am in Africa I will completely miss the graduation ceremony. This time I'm thinking....and I really going to leave this area…leave everyone behind…again? And if I do, do I leave all those friendships as well. Crown is different. Crown is like summer camp to me, in fact that was one of the reasons I came to Crown College. Crown felt like my summer camp which is most defiantly my favorite place on earth. I'm leaving the “bubble” and this time part of me doesn’t want to go, but part of me cannot wait. There's some serious battle ahead.
We never really see the hardships coming until they have jumped on your back, dug claws in. Trust gets broken, friends loose what once was, and sometimes you just have to let go and walk away. Sometimes there's nothing else left to do than pray for peace for each other and your own self and just let it go. At this point, when I'm leaving in just about 6 months, I would never have guessed Id be where I'm at, at this place, doing what I'm doing now, and even beginning to separate myself from this place and these people. I see the light at the end of the college tunnel…and its calling.
So in this time when everything goes wrong, I know Ive sat back and though, I'm pretty much a horrible person, regardless of right and wrong, I question what I'm doing…if I can really lead people, and those little whispers are in my ear. ‘your not good enough, your music means nothing, why even try, your destructive, how ugly you are, your personality is too strong, see how you lost so much?’ But this is what God began to say through other people…
A: “When are you updating your blog? Ive been waiting to read more?”
B: “This song is so good, I want to listen again”-listening to a song I recorded even when it was poorly recorded”
C: (tears in eyes) You have to send me that song”
D: “When you led worship…I felt like you really led…thank you”
E: “You were right on…right on”
F: “Ive been following your blog…and I can tell Gods moving you and working in you”
G: “I just want to tell you when I see you walking in the hall, I see a very beautiful woman of God”-the most random 2 am facebook message I have ever had with someone I never really get to talk to.

So much more encouragement has occurred in the past days…from friends and Crown faculty.

Finally, a family member who I honestly have not seen since I was maybe 8 years old said this to me.
Encouragement from a soldier….
“ I pray for safety and comfort but there's always that chance that I won't make it back home on day. Many haven't and many more won't but some day, you'll finish school and will lead, comfort and provide support to others.”
After this…this is what I can piece together…
God: you are a leader, you bring tears & pull at hearts for me helping to break down walls, you let me guide you in writings to say what others need to hear, you are and will be a comfort, a provider, and a support for others.
When God speaks, when I hear what I need to hear its generally through other people. And in the past week I have heard so much encouragement even from people who I never really stop and talk too. I also heard some criticism that I accept and appreciate. But I just want to say…. everyone makes mistakes. I have a lot of grace for others, but I also have a standard of morals to live by regardless of my past and what I once thought was okay. You can say..."I thought you would understand because you have been there" and I will...but somethings I cannot agree with, even if I myself have been there. I will never be blameless, no one will. But as a young man once described me “That girl is legit”…and I want to remain that way regardless of times it seems like I am the reason for all the wrong.
When the world crashes down around us…we just have to stop and listen…even through the crashing walls.

And the Father will let His children know it is alright...