Today I revisited some lyrics and songs I wrote this past year at Crown. I have been feeling a pull and with God’s provision of resources and people have been praying about recording. I noticed something right away…the songs that were not entirely finished…all had one common problem.
Worship is a lifestyle…importantly because worship is a direct connection to God. A connection straight to heaven that can bring glimpses of heaven to earth as we honor and praise like we were made to do. “ And the things of this earth grow strangely dim…”
The songs that were not working lyrically were “I” songs. They were slightly complaints, pain, or wanting from God but to suit myself not Him.
Those that were finished, they were all songs about Him, love letters to Him, praise to Him, and if “I” was ever mentioned…it was not because of a want…but a cry out in love to Him ‘I cry out” “Let my words be yours” “Ill sing because you will hear me” “I will fall in love with you “ again and again each day.
Maybe to another artist these lyrics would be something, but to me they are nothing. I knew along time ago I sing for Jesus, and no one else. I can sound good singing a pop song, but it is completely meaningless to me and is nothing like the moment the Holy Spirit draws into the room and I am directly connected and madly wholly in love with my Father and my Savior.
When we stop thinking so much about what we want…actually giving up in a sense the wants of this world, there is this release and peace that floods into our lives. Its okay if God leads you halfway across the world at a moments notice, or puts you in what you thought would be an uncomfortable place. His plans will always, ALWAYS, be better than ours. And there are times He calls us into desert valleys, to learn, to push through, to come to Him for help relying on His strength.
Last Monday I had a small but extremely important reminder/revelation. Our Connect group from Crossroads and the topic of the night was on speaking God’s word into our lives. It dawned on me that I had been neglecting to speak truth into my life and even speak out loud to Jesus. My time with Him was being neglected, and even worse…I in my human stupid-ness was wondering why I was feeling drained, slightly beat up, as Pastor Dave would say…”alil crispy”. I cried just talking about it. Because I know the power in that, have been proven it many times, and yet it’s like I just forgot…how can I forget a love so powerful?
When I was little, pre kinder garden ages I was an only child in the middle of nowhere without neighborhood kids to play with. I knew about Jesus because the few family members I came in contact with told me about Him constantly. I knew I had no reason to be afraid because Jesus was with me and God was always watching over me because He created me. I am His. So in the country when you are constantly playing outside by your self with no one around…I walked and talked to my two friends. (I had a cat too that followed me around too but that’s besides the point.) ☺ I’d walk through the woods and know I was not alone and have a full out conversation at 4 years old with Jesus. Talk about childlike faith. I remember that time like it was the perfect world. You can say it is because I was young and all children think of those times as great because they didn’t understand the world yet but honestly, I believe heaven will be like that. No knowledge of the pain, hurt, brokenness of this world. The sun always shining, the grass ever so green, all nature and creation perfect like Eden. A constant content glorious walk with Jesus while the Father stands smiling at His creation heart overflowing and tears in His eyes ready to run out to join that perfect moment. And to think He loves us all the same, extremely.
It is not about “I”. If it were, we would constantly be drained, feel worthless, struggle to walk with Him on water. When it is all about Him though…the struggle is different. It is at least not a battle with self though the battle with the world still remains. And when we battle through troubles in this world any self change must be made through Christ in us or else we will cover the wound, not heal it. The worlds healing like the never ending Band-Aid and the Neosporin isn’t working. The infection won’t go away. Healing from Jesus works from the inside out, kills the infection inside with no Band-Aid, no Neosporin, and once it is clean and purified the wound closes instantly. Jesus doesn’t need a Band-Aid to heal the blind man not only physically but spiritually as well. And when the price to pay is to shout in praise for the work done and proclaim it to the entire world how different it could all be with Jesus in our lives…well that beats paying for the never ending supply of worldly Band-Aids.
It never ceases to amaze me how pitifully stupid I can be, and how much I need NEED Christ in my life. I need Him so bad each day to keep me going, to push on in the race. Not a day goes by now that I don’t question what I am doing with my life. And that is because I am human, doubtful, and weak. But when I bring those questions to Him, and I do…each and everyday…He takes my hand, reminds me why, takes me back to all those moments I have had with Him, watched His healing, His mercy, and He breaks my heart all over again filling it with the passion and vision that is drained from me daily. He renews my heart, my soul. I submit to Him each day because He stands up to be my stronghold and in His strong arms I cannot fail.
Revelation 4:8,11
“‘Holy, holy, holy
is the Lord God Almighty,’
who was, and is, and is to come.”
“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”
