Active Patience

I believe we all know what God wants from us, call it a conscious, I like to call it a lil voice from the Holy Spirit, to me same thing, but I think we know. We know when that dating relationship we just started is not going to amount to marriage, and we know when we should really let go of certain “addictions” in life. But it is just so hard too. We cling to an idea, or an object, or a person to fill a void Christ is waiting to fill. And all we have to do is let go….but there’s one other step to this process. I have heard so many times to ”let go and let God”. Well, that is a catchy lil phrase, but what does “letting God” actually mean?

I have ready those typical dating Christian life books that talk about what a man should be like in Christ’s image and what a woman should be like in the same. Do you know what is so often said? That a man should not be passive nor aggressive in his pursuits of life. Taking that women are made from the rib of a man I would say that statement holds truth to us as well. So as Christians we should not be passive or aggressive but find the middle ground of balance in our pursuits. That’s hard when excitement takes over, even harder when you are discouraged. So, here is the past 2 weeks and the lesson I learned.

In the past weeks I have worked a ton of hours at Starbucks, was accepted and ordered my books for my first semester of my Master’s Degree, started an interview process at a church plant in Western Pennsylvania, added two new recruits to my Mary Kay business, and began scheduling for music lessons to begin this following week. That is a lot to take in. And this past week proved there is little to no time left past these activities.

So, this lesson is more than learning balance in life. Every activity I am involved in I feel is a part of me and a part of God’s plan in and for my life. Just maybe not all at once. A few weeks ago I heard a word in prayer that made no sense then but has since revealed itself in the most intense way. I asked God for a word, something He wanted me to know. He gave me the word “Home”. I have felt this urgency for a time that I needed to go back to PA and be with family. Even more, I have felt and urgency to the broken people in the area and surrounding areas to know Christ and begin to heal. A few days ago news of sickness in a close family member arrived. And though there is peace, time is not on our family’s side and every moment counts. When I heard the word “Home” tears came to my eyes instantly and I felt a great pain in my heart. I asked everyday for a month what it meant, what was coming, what I was suppose to know. The peace in this situation is the knowledge of a family member that will go home to be with a Father for eternity, but for the family that will miss that person and those that will be walking the journey to the end this will be time of great reliance on God and rest only in His promise and truth.

With no time at this point in my life and a new urgency I now question what I can give up for this time. My answer came through a Pastor’s words yesterday 5:45pm at Starbucks. An offer was extended for the position of worship leader at a local church and with that a description of the dream of the position that fit in a way that gave me peace to give up my own dreams of counseling knowing God will give that dream back to me in the future in His new time. The description was of building 3 worship teams, booking shows, producing music, planting churches, and all with full support to teach music lessons and work my Mary Kay business. The Pastor saw the opportunities of activities I already do that could impact the area and without realizing it answered a question I have been asking since college ended. What should I be doing? And what should I give up? And not knowing it by the end of the night I realized how Starbucks fits into this plan as well, providing extra income while the position builds to fulltime, even providing beans to the church Sunday to brew Starbucks fresh coffee with my weekly free 1lbs bag! And the conversation I had as a fellow partner at another Starbucks opened into a mission’s moment taking time to connect with a Barista and ask about her dreams and talk about her worries.

I honestly believe that each time we give a little more up and turn more to God He reveals another piece to the puzzle. But it requires us to also take steps of faith to Him. I had to have my books ordered to start my classes before the opportunity with the church arrived. And my decisions on what to put on hold are in response to God beginning the journey calling a family member home. And if someone told me I was just not patient and acted to fast I would tell them this. My application was already through months ago, and I had a peace about registering for classes and a reborn drive to begin working with people and serving my God. Once that drive was reborn this church opportunity arose and I saw a plan in the making that was specifically placed for this time because I moved into it with Christ in my heart. Each piece fits together and now God is allowing me to know it is alright to wait because the dream and passion is still in my heart and the time will be right soon. When we are active in God’s plan, with Christ in our heart, He helps us to give up those things that seemed so important before. It is when we are passively waiting that we begin to cling thinking our lives are what WE want. Actively wait… anticipation is key. We must be excited, must be driven, and must be willing to look completely ridiculous in the process. Everyone knows I’m starting my master’s degree this month. And to everyone it must look like I change my mind every three days, but it is that willingness that led me to where I am, where God has planted me, and where He will work through me. Starbucks was not in the plans and honestly made no sense, I even had a person ask me “with all the things you have done, places you have lived already, places you could have been, why are you back here working at Starbucks?” My response every time is that only God knows… literally. There is nothing that says within the next year I will still be living here working the same jobs. The only constant in this life is Christ living within us. But life without Christ directing our days is confusing and dependent on self.  I want to do a lot in this life, and I think God has wired me to be that way. How else would He move me place to place so easily and from job to job like He has and continues to do.

So that is the lesson…we are only a step away from the great ocean, but one step can mean the beginning of greater journeys we cannot imagine. Don’t accept that life will be anything less than great, God can take you where you are and make the incredible happen.